Joel Pollack's WebSite

Jill's words to the Court
April 22, 1999

I know I am speaking for many people today and hope what I say can, for all of us be another step in healing and closure, I'm limited here to such few words YET there really are no words to describe the impact of what you have done.

Although I realize that this was not done with malice-- I am controlling my anger in the efforts that some good can come out of an otherwise devastating and life altering situation---because I know Joel, and I know that this is what he would have wanted.

The results of what you have done have not just destroyed one life, but many. Ask anybody who knew him, and they will tell you that they lost a very important aspect of their lives…and life as they knew it will never be the same. You, in one thoughtless moment changed all of our lives forever!

There is no possible way that you can fathom the horrible experience I had in telling my parents and younger brother Ricky, that Joel had died. Holding my younger brother Ricky as he fell to his knees, with blood stained hands that I could not bring myself to wash off. I will live with that haunting nightmare for the rest of my life and for the rest of my life there will not be a day that goes by that I won't relive the image of my brother, my best friend, my soul mate, dying in my arms.

The agonizing days following his death was filled with sorrow and indescribable pain. Our family trying to console one another, rotating the waves of strength to keep each other going. Could you imagine what it was like to clean out his apartment? The pictures of his family and friends next to his bed, the yellow sticky pad notes left around his phone --reminders of who to call back and what new CD to buy, even a note that said "Angela" and then "Angeliaki". Only I knew what that meant…Angela is an acquaintance of Joel whose heritage is Greek. Joel took the time to find the translation of her name in Greek, thus, Angeliaki, so he could call her that from then on.---he was so sweet!

I want you to know that there were approx. 1,600 people at his funeral… I remember looking out into the crowd as I was giving my eulogy. There was not one person out of 1,600 that I did not know. Joel shared his friends and his love of life with everyone.

To give you an example of the impact Joel made on so many lives I am going to read Chris Costa's Eulogy because I feel that this best describes how everyone who knew Joel felt about him. Chris Costa began as a business colleague of Joel's and like everybody else, was lucky enough to get to know him ---they grew to become good friends.

Christina Donnelly Costa's Eulogy for Joel

TO JOEL - WITH LOVE FOREVER - CHRIS

I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY FIRST AND FOREMOST AS YOUR FRIEND
- BUT ALSO AS PRESIDENT OF THE INSURANCE ASSOCIATION SO
BELOVED TO YOU JOEL, AS IT WAS AND IS STILL TO YOUR FATHER
BEFORE YOU.

LAST JUNE YOU PROVIDED YOUR FATHER THE PROUDEST MOMENT OF
HIS PROFESSIONAL CAREER AS HE INSTALLED YOU AS FIRST VICE
PRESIDENT OF THE INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENTS ASSOCIATION
OF QUEENS AND KINGS COUNTIES.

HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM
BELOVED BY ALL
ALWAYS THERE - ALWAYS DEDICATED
PEACEMAKER - GATEKEEPER
WORKER - FRIEND
LIKE FATHER - LIKE SON.

THE IRISH HAVE A TRADITION CENTURIES OLD - WHEN SOMEONE WE
LOVE PASSES FROM THIS EARTH WE CELEBRATE THEIR LIFE - AND
THERE IS SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE IN THE LIFE OF JOEL STEVEN
POLLACK BUT TRAGICALLY - NOT ENOUGH. NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE HE
WAS TAKEN FROM US TOO SOON.

OFTEN THERE CAN BE A TENDENCY TO MAKE SOMEONE IN DEATH MORE
THAN THEY HAD BEEN IN LIFE. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO DO THAT
WITH JOEL. JOEL WAS IN LIFE ALL THAT WE EACH STRIVE SO HARD
TO BE. HE PERSONIFIED EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD AND KIND, AND
LOVING AND CONSIDERATE, AND COMPASSIONATE AND CARING. HE
WORKED HARD, AND HE PLAYED HARD. EVERYDAY HE GAVE,
EVERYTHING HE DID, EVERYTHING HE HAD - NEVER PUTTING
HIMSELF FIRST.

IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF MAY 24,1998 THE LOVE, AND THE
JOY AND THE LIGHT THAT WAS JOEL STEVEN POLLACK WAS
EXTINGUISHED FROM THIS EARTH. AND ALTHOUGH WE SHALL CARRY
THAT LIGHT IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER - OUR LIVES WILL NEVER
EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

I WILL FOREVER REMEMBER THAT MOMENT - 8:21 AM SUNDAY
MORNING WHEN RICK CALLED - VERY TRULY SELFISHLY I CRIED OUT
NO GOD PLEASE NO GOD - NOT MY JOEL.

I SEE HIS FACE, AND I HEAR HIS VOICE -

"HEY CHRIS - IT'S JOEL" - AND THEN HE WOULD PROCEED TO
RAMBLE OFF AT A HUNDRED MILES A MINUTE, AND FINISH WITH -
"WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
AND I WOULD SAY "I DON'T KNOW - TELL ME AGAIN ONLY SLOWER THIS TIME"
AND HE WOULD SAY - IN HIS "JOEL WAY" DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU?
AND I WOULD SAY "YES JOEL - JUST USUALLY NOT THE FIRST TIME"
AND HE WOULD LAUGH, AND HE WOULD TELL ME AGAIN - SLOWER.

THAT WAS MY JOEL - OUR JOEL. I COULD TEASE HIM, AND PUSH HIM,
AND BE UNMERCIFULLY SARCASTIC, AND HE WOULD NEVER COUNTER.
HE WOULD JUST LAUGH AT ME, AND LAUGH WITH ME, AND HUG ME,
AND TELL ME HE LOVED ME.

THAT WAS OUR JOEL - ALWAYS BUSY, ALWAYS RACING, ALWAYS RUNNING,
ALWAYS DOING, GOING, ACHIEVING, ACCOMPLISHING.
ALWAYS BUSY - BUT NEVER TOO BUSY. NEVER TOO BUSY TO SAY
"WHAT DO YOU NEED? WHAT CAN I DO?"

WE WILL HOLD ALL OF THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF JOEL IN OUR
HEARTS -FOREVER - AND WE SHALL CLING TO THE LIGHT THEY SHINE
IN THE DARKNESS THAT LIES AHEAD.

I LOVE YOU JOEL - WE LOVE YOU JOEL - AND WE ALWAYS, ALWAYS WILL.

Joel did not preach or push his beliefs on anybody…Instead he inspired the people around him to live life to the fullest and love every minute of it.

They called him a Mensch, a person who always does the right thing, but he was so much more than that.

Miss X, we made our decision based on Joel's ideals. He believed in forgiveness and second chances. That was the goodness of Joel.

I don't know anything about you. I don't know if you feel remorse, if you feel pain, or if you feel anything. I do know that by putting you in Jail will not help anyone. Although many people have argued this decision, including the judicial system, I feel I can speak for Joel, ---that time would be better served in helping make a difference in the community. And although this will not bring Joel back it will keep his legacy alive in the eyes of his family and friends.

The purpose of our decision is as follows…Joel loved kids… Prior to his death he was doing volunteer work with the homeless and underprivileged children. We are hoping that with community service, you will be doing what Joel can no longer do and in the process you will hopefully begin to understand his motives and you too will make a difference. During this time we are hoping that you will understand the reason behind our decision and continue in the work that you are required to do even when it is no longer obligatory.

Everyone should be so lucky to be loved the way Joel was loved. In memory of Joel, his friends have created a website called www.joelpollack.com. There we can visit Joel everyday to see pictures and stories of his life and cherish those moments forever. Perhaps you will find it in yourself to spend some time learning about Joel by visiting his website. In addition, our family and friends have established an organization called The JSP Foundation, Inc. Its mission is to improve the quality of life for New York City's underprivileged children by providing funds for housing services and access to educational and cultural tools that otherwise would not be available to these young people.

Please Miss X, don't ever drive or let your friends drive drunk… I would have addressed this to all who were present in the car…You, Miss Y and Mr. Z, but you're the one who was supposed to be ok to drive. You're the one who made that call so you're the one who will have to live with it.

I will never see Joel again. He will never call me every night like he used to, he will never hold me and tell me he loved me like he often did…he will never be a father like he dreamed of, and our children will never play with each other like I always dreamed of.
You have stolen my dreams.

YOUR HONOR...

I don't understand the judicial system. There are laws and though they don't make sense to me, they are carried out as per jurisdiction. After just a few hours in jail, Miss X was released on a $500 bail. Then the assistant D.A. gives us our options as far as her punishment. We had a choice of 80 days in jail, or probation or probation and community service, or community service. We then propose to her Lawyer, in lieu of all these options, that Miss X serves community service. We do so not only in a spirit of good faith and love for Joel but because we wanted her to be out there doing what Joel no longer can. We requested that she do as much community service, working with children, over a lengthy period of time so that it becomes a way of life not something that is done in 80 days and then life goes on as usual.. Her lawyer does not respond. Three months later we enforce the D.A. to contact Miss X's Lawyer for an answer. Having waited beyond what is fair and a reasonable period of time we are then told that Miss X will except the community service but she opted to work with animals… Can I share with you how that made us feel? It was a slap in the face. It was as if she missed the whole point and intention of our offer, the very reason community service was chosen rather than jail time.

The D.A. at this point reiterates our intentions to Miss X's Lawyer and we are told that she will serve 1600 hours with PAL, the Police Academy League working with children. Supposedly she has a friend there. Does this mean that she will be able to cut some corners of serving her time if she has a friend who works there? I don't know…

Last night, after discussing today's proceedings with a new assistant D.A. I was told that the probation officer who interviewed Miss X and I, wrote a summation on this case to be presented to you prior to this court session. I was told just last night that in this summation Miss X stated that she will be taking off from work and finishing her community service in under a year.

I don't understand why she gets the choice, especially under the circumstances in that we are not sending her to jail.

Our hopes were for her to do community service for a lengthy period of time so it becomes a way of life… In addition, she would always be reminded of what she has done. Justice for us would be for Miss X to do community service one day a month for at least 34 years…every year that Joel lived… yet we can't even get 3-4 years.

Our family and friends will suffer for the rest of our lives, and yet Miss X will be free of her obligations in such a short period of time…

I am hoping that you will take this under consideration.